|
|
DISCLAIMER: In the unlikelihood that it is unclear, I
made this story up...it is not historical in any way
whatsoever!
How Volcán
Villarrica Came to Be
Many eons ago in a galaxy
that happened to be this one, there was a young god
named Aghh. Now Aghh was a fairly content god: he slept
in past noon on a fairly regular basis, spent his
afternoons either playing polo or sunbathing and always
whiled away his evenings drinking imported wine and
listening to fine music of the classical sort. Aghh's
carefree, lackadaisical lifestyle was, even by godly
standards, a little ridiculous, and sure enough, piqued
the jealousy of his fellow god Gary. Gary, whose job it
was to make sure that the sun kept working, had been
picking up Aghh's slack for a few million years (Aghh
was supposed to keep the moon in working condition).
Alas, one day Gary finally became completely fed up
with Aghh's worthless behavior and decided it was time
to take action. Gary, who happened to be a fairly
proficient Broadway actor on the side, decided to put
his stagecraft and acting skills to good use. In a few
days he had whipped up a fairly convincing paradise of
sorts, complete with a seemingly endless supply of
jell-o, within the steep walls of a hollowed out
mountain that he conveniently came across. His plan
would surely run smoothly.
The next day Aghh woke up at an alarming 1:30 pm to
find an invitation on his bed stand. It read:
"Congratulations! YOU are invited to be a PLATINUM
timeshare holder of paradise! Yes, YOU! Stop by that
largish looking mountain to your left to find out more!"
Being exceedingly dim of the faculties, Aghh went for
the bait and made a beeline for the mountain.
Upon arrival at the mountain, Aghh found himself
surrounded by an obnoxiously beautiful paradise and
greeted by an obnoxiously...well just obnoxious, real
estate agent named Jeanette (Gary in disguise).
Jeanette, after chattering senselessly for a few hours,
gave Aghh a chance to wander around the "paradise" by
himself, so as to not pressure him into a sale. Little
did Aghh know that he was walking into a trap...
After Jeanette had snuck out a door, Aghh began
exploring his paradise, and quickly came to the
realization that everything - from the jell-o to the
waterfall to the white sand beach - was made of
cardboard and paper maché.
"Dammit!" he thought. "F*#%ing con artists! I should've
known." Aghh made his way for the door to find that it
was no longer there. All of a sudden Aghh heard a loud,
deep scraping noise accompanied by increasing darkness,
until it was silent and completely dark.
Outside, Gary, with his Jeanette costume thrown
aside, had just pushed the top of his newly constructed
mountain summit atop the hollowed out mountain. Within
minutes though, a deep rumbling could be heard from
inside and the top exploded with ash and hot lava as
Aghh threw a temper tantrum inside. To Gary's relief,
Aghh apparently was unable to get out of the mountain,
and thus was stuck inside for all eternity, randomly
throwing temper tantrums of varying magnitude which came
to be known as volcanic eruptions. The mountain Gary had
trapped Aghh in is now known as Volcán
Villarrica, for unknown reasons.
|